Walking on Pink Ice

The girdle as metaphor

Welcome back, trad wife. We didn’t miss you. But here you are, bright and shiny in 2025. It’s like you enjoy having personal choice removed from your existence. It’s not exactly your fault. The combination of Madison Avenue’s historically male copywriters + corporate greed got the best of you. And if you grew up in the 50s-70s, you inherited your mother’s trauma from the trad wife expectations put upon her. The MAGA gals passed it on to their daughters. Sometimes it takes a village to wake women from the spell of striving for unattainable perfection. It can be strong kool-aid.

Since the thesis of my posts is sexist ads from the past, I love when friends gift me with overtly misogynistic ads for my collection.

Today’s featured ad is from a friend whose mother wore a girdle through five pregnancies in the 50s and 60s. The male gaze didn’t appreciate pregnant women.

You probably knew Lucy Ricardo, aka Lucille Ball was the first woman to appear pregnant on the teevee, in 1952. It caused a 1952-style stir. I could be wrong but I think women were pregnant IRL before 1952. Never mind that.

My friend gave me this ad because “girdle” is one of the words that makes both of us giggle. We use it as shorthand to identify exhausting situations of repression we need to escape from ASAP.

The most extreme version of the girdle was the corset. Corsets morphed into girdles around WW1. Both were created to keep women in check, so to speak. I ain’t here to explain the history of the girdle. I am here to endorse it as the perfect metaphor for misogyny.

Have you read The Women’s Room, by Marilyn French? Published in 1977, it was a rebuttal/exposé of the 50s decade, when girdles were the norm, and the women in those girdles were supposed to be housewives and anything else was frowned upon and considered unusual. Lots of women stopped wearing girdles after reading it. Figuratively speaking.

This Playtex ad is from the August 22, 1949 issue of Life magazine. Behold the compelling non-credited illustration: women frozen in ice as they enjoy the “sensational” new kind of girdle, the newest of the famous Playtex girdles. Where were they headed, before they were forever trapped in this ad?

PINK ICE, “not as a color, but as a brand new kind of girdle that actually breathes - dispels body heat.” Oh really? Bet that’s a lie. It’s “made of tree-grown liquid latex.” WTF, I’m not googling that, you can. “With an all-way power stretch that power-moulds your figure along its natural lines and controls your figure when you are sitting, as well as when you’re standing or walking.” Along its natural lines? Who wants that? Not anyone wearing a girdle. You want your figure power-moulded, dammit. Screw natural. No one wanted to be caught looking out of control while sitting. Bring on the all-way power stretch to power-mould. Claim your power.

You know what’s really cool? You could wear it under your swimsuit! It must have taken hours to get out of your wet girdle plus your wet one piece. I can’t breathe even now.

How does ice translate to a girdle? Who came up with this catchy name?

Ohhhhhh, that’s how. It’s as shimmering smooth as mountain ice. Personally the thought of shimmering mountain ice immediately equates to violent falls and broken limbs. I must admit, walking out of a store with the SLIM shimmering Pink Tube appeals. My shimmering Pink Tube brings all the boys to the yard, I bet. Whole lotta shimmerin’ goin’ on. And luckily the Pink-Ice comes in size extra small for the extra small women who don’t need one but feel compelled to wear one.

Let’s talk about the “International Latex Corporation.” Google tells me this was formed in 1932, and later became Playtex. The company soon branched out from women’s undergarments to making war materials and later, space suits. Today the company is called ILC Dover, and since the mid-70s, they’ve produced a bunch more scary war stuff and what not, including protective gear for chemical and biological warfare for US military troops, federal employees, scientists and healthcare workers. In 2024, ILC Dover was acquired by Ingersoll Rand, a multinational corporate behemoth with revenue of $7.2 billion. According to the Open Secrets website, during the 2024 election cycle, through their PAC, Ingersoll Rand donated $27k to Republican candidates vs $9k to Democratic candidates.

One could say, girdles begat MAGA. One could. Let’s do.

If you were around to herald the invention of pantyhose, you’ve got a girdle story. Let’s hear it!

Oh, just one more thing.

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